In the beginning...
I have dabbled in blogging before, but it's always fallen away. I hope this will be different. Because this is the most humbling, difficult, beautiful, heart-wrenching thing I have ever done.
I have been a foster parent since August of 2018. My first placement was with a sibling set of 13-year-old and 5-year-old sisters. While the older girl needed additional support that she is getting elsewhere, the little one is still with us. My husband and I are still very new to the fostering experience, and we learn daily about our own limitations and weaknesses. But this is also an experience that is filled with grace and forgiveness and hope.
One of the questions I often get is how we decided to start fostering, so this is what I'll cover in this first post. I hope to cover a wide variety of thoughts and experiences we have had throughout our limited experience. My goal is to be as real as possible with communicating what our experience has been like, and to encourage anyone who is interested to reach out to ask questions or to get more information on their own.
I remember probably at some point in middle school making a statement about how I didn't want to have children. I said something about how there were already a lot of children in the world that needed homes, so I would just raise them. At the time, it was not a particularly thoughtful statement, but it was the first seed the Lord planted in me that would set me up for this experience.
I think what really finally set the wheels in motion for me was wrestling with the abortion policies in this country. While I think abortion is a tragedy, I've firmly held the belief that the most effective way to make a difference is not to change laws, but to personally invest in the lives of women and children that may be at-risk. To be part of meeting the need they have that leads them to consider abortion. To be willing to sacrifice something I value, like comfort and security and ease of life, to personally help those in need.
The problem is that when I said that, I also felt like a huge hypocrite because I wasn't actually doing those things. I had some valid reasons for being hesitant. I wasn't married and it seemed really overwhelming to do it by myself. Wouldn't kids be better off with two parents, anyway? My house was small. I didn't feel financially secure. But what was I doing PERSONALLY to impact change and solve a legitimate felt need?
I started a new job in 2017, bought a new house, and some of those issues started resolving themselves. I was financially secure! I had space! I still wasn't married, and that was a serious consideration for me. But then I read a blog post about how it wasn't just okay to be a single foster parent, but there was actually a NEED for single foster parents. There are children that suffered abuse at the hands of men (or women) that would be able to heal better in a home without people of that sex present. So I officially had no excuses.
After that, it was just a matter of committing to one step in the process at a time. I took a class through the local social services department. Then I agreed to have my home study done. Then the critters and I got all our medical testing and vaccinations done. And before I knew it, I was licensed.
I won't say that it was any single intervening event. It was just a matter of doing the next thing and the thing after that and the thing after that... and then all of a sudden I got a phone call and things got real. I was being entrusted to take care of two precious children that were involuntarily separated from their parents. Terrifying! But I'll write more about that later.
For now, I just want to end with the thought that if you're interested, you can dip a toe in and just see how you feel. Attend a conference, read a book, watch a youtube video. I'll start posting some of these resources as I get this blog developed. Just know that it's okay to explore without knowing whether or not you're fully committed. You may find out it's not for you, and that's okay. There are a thousand other ways you can make a meaningful difference in your community. But don't let your uncertainty stop you from finding out more.
I have been a foster parent since August of 2018. My first placement was with a sibling set of 13-year-old and 5-year-old sisters. While the older girl needed additional support that she is getting elsewhere, the little one is still with us. My husband and I are still very new to the fostering experience, and we learn daily about our own limitations and weaknesses. But this is also an experience that is filled with grace and forgiveness and hope.
One of the questions I often get is how we decided to start fostering, so this is what I'll cover in this first post. I hope to cover a wide variety of thoughts and experiences we have had throughout our limited experience. My goal is to be as real as possible with communicating what our experience has been like, and to encourage anyone who is interested to reach out to ask questions or to get more information on their own.
I remember probably at some point in middle school making a statement about how I didn't want to have children. I said something about how there were already a lot of children in the world that needed homes, so I would just raise them. At the time, it was not a particularly thoughtful statement, but it was the first seed the Lord planted in me that would set me up for this experience.
I think what really finally set the wheels in motion for me was wrestling with the abortion policies in this country. While I think abortion is a tragedy, I've firmly held the belief that the most effective way to make a difference is not to change laws, but to personally invest in the lives of women and children that may be at-risk. To be part of meeting the need they have that leads them to consider abortion. To be willing to sacrifice something I value, like comfort and security and ease of life, to personally help those in need.
The problem is that when I said that, I also felt like a huge hypocrite because I wasn't actually doing those things. I had some valid reasons for being hesitant. I wasn't married and it seemed really overwhelming to do it by myself. Wouldn't kids be better off with two parents, anyway? My house was small. I didn't feel financially secure. But what was I doing PERSONALLY to impact change and solve a legitimate felt need?
I started a new job in 2017, bought a new house, and some of those issues started resolving themselves. I was financially secure! I had space! I still wasn't married, and that was a serious consideration for me. But then I read a blog post about how it wasn't just okay to be a single foster parent, but there was actually a NEED for single foster parents. There are children that suffered abuse at the hands of men (or women) that would be able to heal better in a home without people of that sex present. So I officially had no excuses.
After that, it was just a matter of committing to one step in the process at a time. I took a class through the local social services department. Then I agreed to have my home study done. Then the critters and I got all our medical testing and vaccinations done. And before I knew it, I was licensed.
I won't say that it was any single intervening event. It was just a matter of doing the next thing and the thing after that and the thing after that... and then all of a sudden I got a phone call and things got real. I was being entrusted to take care of two precious children that were involuntarily separated from their parents. Terrifying! But I'll write more about that later.
For now, I just want to end with the thought that if you're interested, you can dip a toe in and just see how you feel. Attend a conference, read a book, watch a youtube video. I'll start posting some of these resources as I get this blog developed. Just know that it's okay to explore without knowing whether or not you're fully committed. You may find out it's not for you, and that's okay. There are a thousand other ways you can make a meaningful difference in your community. But don't let your uncertainty stop you from finding out more.
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